Daytime ‘Nap’ Routines
We have already established that babies need 14 to 15 hours sleep in every twenty four hour period on average, and that they would be very, very hungry indeed were they to try to sleep this much in one ‘session’. So, it logically follows that babies will most likely get their sleep in shorter sessions of a few hours rest at a time. This is the pattern that most parents will quickly become familiar with, of baby having a couple of ‘naps’ during the day. However, what many parents are seemingly not aware of is the fact that, if these ‘naps’ are structured correctly from the beginning, then this can go a long way to helping baby get a goods nights sleep too. Also, it is important that this routine should start from the very first moment when you and your baby come home from the hospital. |
What you must do from that point on is to bring a regular daily routine into your baby’s life as quickly as you can.
Think of it this way. Baby spent nine months in the womb and then they were not there anymore! Do you think that was a shock for their system?
From the safety and comfort of the womb, they were then deposited into the alien environment of the hospital, and, just as they started to get used to that, they were moved from there as well! Does it therefore make sense that your baby might seem as if they are a bit unsettled at first?
To put it very simply, by the time that you first bring your baby home, he or she is completely disorientated and confused as to what is happening. Bringing a routine into their lives as quickly as possible is the best way of reducing the stress and discomfort that baby might be feeling, and thus, of relaxing them.
One important step towards establishing this routine is to set a predictable and consistent pattern of nap times.
But, this can also be used to help you get over the stress and trauma that your body and psyche have just been through too.
So, try to choose the times of the day that you feel most tired, say for example, 11am and 4pm.
At these times, make sure that both you and your baby lie down together so that you can both have a rest, and baby can experience the comfort of their mother besides them.
Do this for a week or so, to get your baby used to the idea that this is their daytime nap routine.
Not only does this get baby used to a comfortable daily regimen, but it also gives you the chance to grab some much-needed daytime rest, rather than being tempted to "get something done" whilst baby is napping.
And the end result of this should be that you start to recover more quickly, whilst it is proven that babies who have consistent nap routines during the day are more likely to sleep longer stretches at night.
One final thing. Don’t allow the daytime naps to drag on too long, otherwise night time sleep may be a lot more difficult for your baby (and consequently for you too!). Of the total 15 hours sleep required, at least two thirds should be at night.
Baby’s Environment
During The Day
As stated earlier, your baby does not as yet realize that there is any difference between day and night.
Thus, you should not differentiate between the environment and surroundings that baby encounters during the day and those they will experience at night. In other words, baby does not understand that the bedroom is for sleeping, and the dining room is for eating.
It all ‘blends together’ for them so you should try to take a similar approach to trying to get them to learn to do things your way.
For example, babies, in the same way that the do not yet grasp the day/night concept, they equally do not understand that the day is for eating and playing, whereas the night is not.
So, you must teach them by feeding them every three hours or so during the day, so that they do not begin to associate the part of the day when they are in their crib with food. Or, when your baby takes his or her naps during the daytime, try to use a reasonably well lit area if at all possible.
In this way, you will keep these naps relatively short (thus increasing the chances of a good nights rest), whilst also conditioning baby to understand that sleeping in a lit place is for shorter sleeps, whilst sleeping in a place that is less well lit is the ‘main’ sleep of the day.
Try to ensure that your baby has a pleasant day as well, simply because, the more relaxed the day has been, the greater the chances are that your baby will also enjoy a good night’s sleep.
The bottom line is that a peaceful and relaxed daytime is likely to lead to baby enjoying a restful night in almost all cases.
Another thing to realize is that tests consistently show that the more physically attached you are to your baby during the day and the more baby is held and calmed, the higher the probability that this peacefulness will carry straight on through into the night.
So, if your baby has a very restless night, do not necessarily ‘blame’ them.
Rather, pause for a few moments and take stock of whether any unsettling circumstances may have occurred during the day to cause baby to be unsettled and tense at night.
Were you too busy to hold them often enough? Is the person who is helping you with the day care of your baby the right match for him or her? Does that day care helper take time to hold baby on a regular basis, or does baby spend most of the time in their crib or cot-bed?
Physical contact between you and your baby is a great relaxant, so making a concerted effort to carry your baby more, particularly in the evenings, will most definitely help keep him relaxed, which is likely to result in baby enjoying a more restful transition to sleep.
If that is not always practicable or possible, perhaps you could invest in a baby sling, as research is beginning to indicate that, short of baby actually being in physical contact, using an in-front-of-the-body sling for several hours a day seems to help babies to settle better at night.
Such a solution, even though it is something of a compromise nevertheless seems to mellow the infant during the day, behavior that then carries over into restfulness at night too.
And At Night
The environment or surroundings that your baby sleeps in will have some bearing on how well they sleep as well, so this is something that you will need to consider when you are trying to create a situation where baby can get maximum rest.
And, once again, bear in mind the importance of establishing and sticking to a routine as quickly as possible. Whatever it is that you decide to do, stick to it whenever you can.
One of the first decisions that you will have to take is where your baby is actually going to sleep.
For example, some parents would feel very strongly that a young baby should sleep in the same bedroom as them, whilst others would insist that the baby having their own ‘nursery’ room is the best answer for all concerned.
Once again, there is no perfect solution to this quandary, as the best answer will inevitably be the one that works most effectively for you and your baby.
If you make the decision that baby should sleep in his or her own room, then the chances are that you will get more rest for yourself, since you won’t be disturbed by the grunts, groans and other assorted night time noises that newborn babies invariably seem to make!
Also, your baby might wake less often if she is in her own room but once again, this cannot be stated with any certainty.
Each case is different, but, as a general guide, it seems that babies are more settled when they have their own space pretty much right from the outset.
If, on the other hand, you decide that baby should sleep in the same room as you, then that has the advantage that it will probably be easier to attend to your baby’s needs as you go through the night. For a breast feeding mother, for example, this would probably be a consideration to take into account.
Some parents (especially first timers) may also feel more comfortable and relaxed if baby is close by, where they can be both seen and heard. Again, that is a personal decision that only you can make.
If you plan to go further still, that is, if you plan to have baby not only in the same room but also in the same bed, then that is acceptable too, but there are additional factors that you should be aware of.
Specifically, you need to be aware that there are inherent dangers in the practice of having baby in the same bed, so much so, in fact, that baby experts are completely divided over the issue. This is because there are two conflicting issues in this situation.
On the one hand is the understandable emotional argument of parents (and, once again, this is generally more prevalent in first timers) that they want to stay as close as possible to baby at all times.
Plus, as we established above, babies themselves take great comfort from the closeness of their mother, and are generally more relaxed because of it, so there is a logical argument that baby should sleep better in the same bed, as well.
Many parents who choose to have baby sleep in the same bed as they do will point to ‘traditional’ societies and indigenous peoples from all over the world, where mother and baby sleeping close together was (and most often still is) almost always the norm, as being an indicator that such behavior is ‘natural’ for both mother and baby.
This may be true, but it also chooses to ignore one critical fact, and that is, the levels of alcohol and narcotic drug usage tends to far higher in developed countries, and it is these practices that add significant additional levels of danger.
When baby sleeps in the same bed as the parents, there is a danger of overlying, that is, one of the parents inadvertently lying on top of the baby so that he or she suffocates to death.
Should this accidentally happen then, in most cases, it would be reasonable and normal to expect the parent who is ‘at fault’ to wake up immediately, and remedy the situation.
However, anyone who is under the influence of either alcohol or narcotic drugs is likely to suffer some degree of impaired arousal, that is, they are far less likely to wake up.
This increases the dangers of baby suffocating whilst sleeping in the parental bed by a significant margin.
In addition, if either parent has long hair, this should be tied up before going to bed if baby is to sleep with you. The dangers of long loose hair should be obvious, even though it may be uncomfortable for you to sleep with your hair tied up.
Also, do not allow older siblings to sleep in the same bed as baby. Doing so significantly increases the chances of an overlying accident occurring.
Whatever the situation, you must accept that this is a very real danger, and honestly assess your own life style and subsequent sleeping patterns accordingly.
Further Thoughts
In reality, there is no perfect sleeping arrangement and most parents find that they must take a ‘mix and match’ approach by adopting various different sleeping arrangements at various stages during the infant's first two years.
You must be flexible and accepting of that fact that, whilst one chosen sleeping arrangement works most of the time, it will almost certainly not work all of the time, and you must learn to live with that.
There will be times when baby feels a little ‘off-color’ or grumpy, and their need for staying in close proximity to you will probably be greater than usual at that time.
Learn to live with and accept it.
You must understand that your baby is changing every day at a rate that is almost impossible for a parent to truly comprehend (your baby can’t talk to you about it, can they?) so you must maintain a flexible attitude at all times.
Be open to changing your own style and attitudes as baby's developmental needs and your family situation changes.
Strange as it might seem to think of it this way, but you actually need more sleep than your new baby.
Most very young babies are not able to sleep right through the night until they have at least doubled their weight, which generally happens when they are somewhere around four to five months old.
So, having your baby wriggling around and screaming at 2am may very quickly disabuse you of the notion that having baby sleeping in the parental bed was ever a good idea!Solving Sleeplessness in Infants Will Help You...
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